..] I suffered and raged inside because of this." With her beauty destroyed, the now six-year-old Walker gave up hope that the world would still prove as open and bountiful as it had for her life up to that point, and her inner sense of worth and beauty crumbled away just as her exterior beauty was eroded away by the sudden entrance of the BB and the slow buildup of scar tissue. This created, of course, a literal change in perception that was mirrored by the author/narrators reduced perception of and engagement with the outside world. She keeps her head down in school and everywhere else, convinced that the world will reject her for her appearance just as she now rejects herself.
In a strange way, the external reality surrounding the author/narrator continues to mirror her perception of its appearance, and her outer beauty continues to match her inner beauty. A scar noticeably changes one's appearance, usually for the worse when speaking in terms of traditional beauty, and a scar on an eye is sure to be an especially gruesome thing. This causes Walker to internalize the same feelings of ugliness, and her inner confidence and beauty shrink to match her outer beauty. This in turn changes her perception of the way the world relates to her, and so she changes the way she relates to the world by withdrawing and refusing to engage in reality the way she used to. This has the ironic yet expected result of fulfilling her perspective; the world begins to ignore and reject her precisely because she has decided that it will do so and withdrawn from it in a preemptive measure that has a causal effect.
Things continue to change for Walker as she grows, has the scare tissue removed from her eye, and...
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